Funny Friendship Quotes


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    Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.
    ― Greg Tamblyn

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    A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
    ― Bernard Meltzer

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    It is the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected
    ― Charles Lamb

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    A good friend will help you move. But best friend will help you move a dead body.
    ― Jim Hayes


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    There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate
    ― Linda Grayson

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    A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success
    ― Doug Larson

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    A true friend stabs you in the front.
    ― Oscar Wilde

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    There are three faithful friends: an old wife, an old dog, and ready money
    ― Benjamin Franklin

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    You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
    ― Harry S. Truman

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    One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim
    ― George Carlin

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    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read
    ― Groucho Marx

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    When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun.'
    ― Groucho Marx

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    Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces
    ― Anne Lindbergh

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    I have lost friends, some by death...others by sheer inability to cross the stree
    ― Virginia Woolf

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    When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier
    ― Diane Von Furstenberg

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    Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty
    ― Sicilian Proverb

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    My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia
    ― Dame Edna Everage

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    Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.
    ― C.S. Lewis

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    The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn't exist.
    ― Aaron Machado

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    I bet dying vultures have lots of awkward moments with their friends.
    ― Guy Endore-Kaiser

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    If you lend a friend five dollars and never see him again, it was worth it

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    It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them
    ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

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    Friends give you a shoulder to cry on. But best friends are ready with a shovel to hurt the person that made you cry.

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    Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
    ― Oprah Winfrey

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    Love is blind; friendship tries not to notice.
    ― Otto von Bismarck

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    My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him

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    My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me
    ― Garry Shandling

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    Friends: people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them
    ― Edwin Arlington Robinson

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    Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex minus reason
    ― Mason Cooley

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    Between friends, differences in taste or opinion are irritating in direct proportion to their triviality.
    ― W.H. Auden

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    One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements
    ― Marcelene Cox

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    One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention
    ― Clifton Fadiman

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    Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long
    ― Robert Staughton Lynd

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    You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job
    ― Laurence J. Peter

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    Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warm feeling inside.

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    Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
    ― Mark Twain

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    The holy passion of Friendship is so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money
    ― Mark Twain

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    Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.
    ― Margaret Walker

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    The capacity for friendship is God’s way of apologizing for our families.
    ― Jay McInerney

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    Never tell your friends, “I told you so” – even when you did.
    ― Wendy Jean Smith

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    When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.
    ― Diane Von Furstenberg

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    If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal.
    ― Oprah Winfrey

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    Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
    ― Samuel Butler